And the Great Jehovah shall say "The Work Is Done" - Joseph Smith Jr - 16-3-15

Dear Family and Friends

It is so surreal that this is my last email as a missionary. When did I even leave the MTC? It feels like yesterday. The journey I have been on has been incredible and has been exactly what I have needed. 

A brief update of my week:- 

We worked very hard and achieved 19 member present lessons, 1 away from our goal of 20!!!! But that’s okay, people have their agency. We got stood up twice last night in my last few hours of missionary service, but it was good because it was in keeping with the rest of my mission ;) We worked hard and found 5 new investigators, but decided not to count two of them because they are moving really soon. So ANYWAY it was a successful week where the Lord did indeed bless us. We had my last ever Zone Meeting. It was about finding new investigators and talking with everyone. It was hard to stay focussed in it and I found my mind wandering. But it was a spiritually uplifting event as always. And in keeping with tradition, the dying missionaries have to bear their testimonies. So I was the only one leaving and stood up to bear my testimony and could hardly speak through the tears. It's hard to put into words how you feel, and when you do, they all just come out as tears haha. It was a great meeting though and sad to think I will no longer be a part of the camaraderie of missionary service. I love the missionary meetings, singing the hymns and praying together. There's a real spirit of strength in those rooms. 

Our beloved G took us out for lunch to Applebees. He is doing so well! We taught him about tithing and he said he would live it, just had one concern. He told us, it would be difficult to go back to when he started working at 15 and figure out how much he has earned and open some bonds of his to pay the tithing on it all from his whole life! I wanted to get up and hug him it was so cute and child-like faith. We explained he would only have to start from now on! But he was so willing, it was so cute. We all need gary-like faith. It was so fun to have lunch with him. He has great stories from his life in Louisiana and is just my favourite person ever. 

We also went out for lunch with K. She is a less active we barely started working with like two weeks ago, but we just instantly clicked and she is relearning everything she should've known a long time ago. She has great things in store. They came to Church this week for the first time in a LONG time! We cried when we said goodbye. She is another one of those souls that you just know you were meant to find. I know I am supposed to be here in Cedar because every day we see miracles and find people that we feel so connected to. 

We found a part member family who agreed to let us come by and teach. We met them at Church because they've lived here since August but never come to Church. In the lesson I asked them “What made you decide to come to Church last week?" They went all quiet and tears came to their eyes and they said their little boy was stillborn and they know they need to get God in their lives. It was so touching. I will never tire of those moments when you can proclaim that families will be together forever. 

We have been fed SO much this week!!! But for lunch and breakfast all I've been eating is apples and grapes so that I won't be too fat when you see me ;) 

I want to take some time in this, my last email, to pay tribute to the last 18 months of my life. The best decision I was ever prompted to make was to serve the Lord on a full time basis. The most precious 18 months of my life have been here in Southern Utah. It feels like when I leave I am going to leave behind a piece of my heart forever, and not a day will go by when I don't think about some of the people I love and my new-found family here. This mission has shaped who I am and what I will do for the rest of my life. I needed to be brought out of the world to realize how far into the world I was. I've seen how small decisions change the course of people's eternities. I will be forever grateful that the Lord loves me enough to push me out of my comfort zone for a brief moment so that I could be a part of His army, saving souls and proclaiming truth. 

I've learned what it really means to love. I've never loved people so much that you cry for them, or the second you see them at the door you want to get on your knees and beg them to listen to you. I've never loved so much that it hurts when they reject the opportunity of greater happiness. I took the opportunity to memorize 1 Corinthians 13 and it has changed me. I realize who I was before and what I needed to change about the way that I love. The Saviour has a perfect, unconditional love, and while I am still so far from that, I understand it better. I have realized that we can be perfect in keeping the Word of Wisdom, paying tithing, attending Church etc but if we don’t have charity and actually love the people the Lord puts in our path, how can we call ourselves Christian? Charity never faileth. "Though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains and have not charity, I am nothing. Though I bestow of my goods to feed the poor, and give my body to be burned, and have not charity it profiteth me nothing". Pauls words have pierced my heart and that is something I have been learning a lot about on my mission. These people that I have met - I love them more than anything. They feel like permanent members of my family and I cannot wait to spend eternity with them. 

I've learned what it means to truly be humble. Again, I have a long way to go, but I have a greater understanding of it. It's not just thinking that you're not better than anyone else, but truly seeking the Lord’s will in all things and knowing that it is NEVER about what you want. We need to "cheerfully do all things that lie within our power and then stand still with the upmost assurance to see the salvation of God". The weeks I prayed for humility were the hardest most painful weeks of my mission. My favourite Mormon Message is The Will of God by Elder Christofferson because God truly does love us enough to cut us down and reshape us. I will be forever grateful that He loves me enough to cut me down and teach me better ways. 

My testimony of the Gospel has been solidified. I have seen so much that I know without a shadow of a doubt that we have a loving Heavenly Father. He truly orchestrates our lives perfectly, so that we are where we need to be when we need to be there. He loves even the most vilest of sinners, and is a part of their lives to help bring them back into His arms. I've seen potential in other people that they have never seen in themselves, and I know that that is God's potential for them that I am seeing. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, as I have seen the spirit that touches people's hearts when we share the first vision. I know that the Book of Mormon is a true testament of Jesus Christ, and I have felt my Saviour's love as I have poured over those pages. They really do contain answers to any questions we have. All I'd need to do was pray and open the Book and my Father would speak to me. He has picked me up and served my mission for me. I could not have served for 18 months. He has done it. I spent countless hours on my knees pleading for strength and crying for guidance, asking for forgiveness and seeking blessings for others. On those hardest days, all I had to do was close the bathroom or closet door and kneel down before my Maker and cry to Him and every single time He picked me up and eased the burdens that were put upon my shoulders. I've seen how He answers and hears every single prayer we send up to Him. The more specific we are, the more specific He is back. My Saviour has never been more real, and never been so close as He has here. I've lived on his Atonement day after day and done things through Him that I never would've been able to otherwise.

One of the most hugest lessons I have ever learned in these 18 months is this: I'm not perfect. and that's ok. I love myself for who God has made me. He has given me weaknesses so that I can feel and taste of the Atonement of Christ, which brings joy greater than anything else. I've learned that everything is always going to be okay. Every transfer call I'd get super nervous and not sleep the night before and not eat for a few days and then it turned out to be the best transfer ever. Finally I have learned that Heavenly Father guides us to places for our happiness, not for our misery. Now I just stay calm and know that everything will be okay with the Saviour by my side. I needed to learn that lesson, to pull the anxiety out of me and simply trust in the Saviour. 

Some of the memories that will stick with me forever will be sitting in front of the Christus statue listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir while reading the word of God. I will always remember when E decided to get baptized, and not believing that it will really happen until the moment she stepped into the font. I will always remember A telling me that the Book of Mormon has filled a hole in her heart that she didn't know was there. I will always remember A sitting in front of the Christus and crying quiet tears before whispering “This gospel is true isn't it?". I will always remember going back to M's door after he had heavily rejected us only to find him sitting there waiting for us to come back because he felt something he'd never felt before. I will always remember R wanting to kill himself before we knocked on the door and he asked us to never leave because when we were there he felt giddy and light. I will always remember G crying at the baptism and saying it feels like coming home. I will always remember J coming to her second lesson after bashing us apart the first lesson, only to start the lesson by telling us that the Book of Mormon is true. I will always remember N saying that when he's with us he feels goodness but when he's not with us it leaves, and that if it is US that are teaching these commandments then it must be from God because we wouldn’t teach what is not from God. I will always remember the French woman in the VC who spoke in French to me and I understood everything and responded and she wanted to learn about the Gospel. I will always remember the homeless man who needed a ride to Vegas, and after praying, a couple turned up who were on their way and he was able to learn the gospel. I will remember every single family who have held us in their arms and cried, expressing their gratitude to us for serving a mission and finding them and never giving up on them. I will remember every single first prayer I have ever been privileged to hear, and every single first testimony that is ingrained within my heart. These have been the most fulfilling and enriching 18 months and I am so abundantly blessed that I cannot put it into words. 

In Alma 26, Ammon says  

 36 Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a branch of the tree of Israel, and has been lost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land.

 37 Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. 

The Lord truly has been mindful of me as I have wandered in a strange land. He is mindful of all of His children, no matter what they have done. He wants no empty chairs in Heaven. The thought fills me with desire to go out and declare the Gospel to everyone, but my time is finished and I will assist in the work however He wants me to. No empty chairs. Our family members and friends and neighbours all have their name on a chair in Heaven, and we want no empty chairs. I have learned what it means to be truly yoked with the Saviour. To do His work with Him. Before I feel like I was yoked with my family and my phone and Facebook and clothes and friends, relying on these for support. Now I am yoked with the Saviour and know that I can do all things by His side. He will never leave me. My nametag will come off, but He will never leave me. 

Honestly. I don’t remember who Charlotte was. I don't know who Charlotte is. I only know Sister Nicholls. It will take some time for me to relearn who I am. I feel awkward when I'm doing anything that isn't teaching or knocking haha. 

In Matthew 16:24-26 the Saviour tells us 

 24 ¶Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

I feel that on my mission I have taken up my cross daily to follow Him in a way that I never have before. I have lost my life for His sake. Every thought I've had, every word I've spoken and every desire of my heart has been to share the Gospel. Even in my dreams I'm always a missionary. I have lost my life for Him and in doing so I have found it in greater abundance. 

My family have been absolute champs. I will be forever grateful for the eternal family that I was born into, my best friends. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow and hold you in my arms and thank you personally for loving me enough to let me go. Thank you for raising me to the Lord, thank you for showing me through example what it means to live the law of consecration. Surrendering our own will and time for Him. To serve others and put others first. I learned that first from my parents and brother and grandparents. I've seen so many families torn apart, and I am so grateful for the family that I was sent to. I know that I lived in Heaven before, and that My Father knows me personally and spent time with me, tutoring me for my life. I feel more comfortable as a missionary than I've ever felt in my life before. More secure and more at home. And I know that that is because that’s what I did for millions of years before I came to earth, teaching about the Saviour and encouraging others to choose Him, and spent 19 years here before going right back to do it again for 18 months. I know that I was always supposed to serve and that the Lord prepared hearts of His children for me. I will be eternally in debt for the blessings He has given me here. I needed my mission more than my mission needed me. He has changed me and lifted me. I am excited to go back and see what the next transfer has in store. I have a whole life time to keep learning and keep having spiritual experiences.  

Thank you everyone for your support for these 18 months. I will forever hold these experiences sacred and dear to my heart, as there are not words to express how I feel.

I will be forever grateful to be able to say these most precious words: I served a mission.

For the last time. 

Sister Nicholls

"Have miracles ceased? Behold I say unto you, Nay" Moroni 7:29 - 9-3-15

Dear Everyone, 

A week of miracles for sure! I count myself blessed in every way because of the mighty miracles we saw this week. 

Firstly, remember G I told you about last week? Well we have seen him every day this week! He gets more and more interested every time we come, and does his homework between visits. I can't even tell you of the love I feel for this old gentleman who lost his wife a year ago. He breaks my heart every time we meet him because he is so sweet and Southern and cute. We watched The Restoration with him and he teared up and said he felt upliftment from the Holy Spirit. Then the next day we went out on visits with the Bishop and stopped by G's house and it went SO well!! They got on really well and he asked great questions and at the end the Bishop gave him a hug and G said "I think I'll be seeing a lot more of you!" and told us that he wants to be more involved etc. So we invited him to our BAPTISM on Saturday (tell you about that in a sec) and he came, dressed up in his little suit! He sat at the back and we taught The Restoration during the baptism, which he has heard twice already, and he just sat there and cried through it all. At the end as he was leaving we said to him "How did you feel G?" and he couldn't talk for tears and managed to choke out "It feels like coming home". We both cried too and I wanted to hug him so badly! The Ward welcomed him so beautifully as well. We went to his home afterwards and read 3 Nephi 27 with him and we asked him "What sort of experience did you have there this morning?" and he said "A very uplifting one. I haven't felt the Holy Spirit like that since I was a young boy (his Mum was a pastor). It felt as though Christ's presence was really there. It was a church filled with love." And again he was crying trying to tell us that. We invited him to be baptised on April 18th and he was crying and said yes and managed to choke out that that was his mother's birthday and his wedding anniversary. We all were in tears and testified that his late mother and wife both love him and want him to feel and embrace this so they can be a family forever. It was such a tender moment and one I will never forget. I just wanted to pause time and be in that moment forever. 

The next miracle was that we have been teaching this 12 year old girl since the second week we got here. She has been coming to church for 9 months already but missionaries never made contact with her. We had an appointment with her on week 2 of the transfer and have been teaching her ever since. We have to get permission from President to baptise a child under 15 and so we submitted a request and didn't know how long it takes to get back as I've been with YSA since that rule was instituted. Monday night we looked at the phone ringing and had the heart attack when it says "President Center" and formally picked it up. He gave us permission to baptise K!!!! And told me that he had endorsed me for BYU. I said "Don't you have to interview me?" and he said "Are you going to keep campus rules?" and I said YES and he said "Well then good, I have endorsed you." Hahahah. Anyway we REJOICED and let K know the next morning and planned our baptism for Saturday! Her Dad is a non member who totally feels the Spirit in the lessons and her Mum is less active. Her Uncle and Auntie drove up from St George as the Uncle baptised her. Tons of people turned out for her baptism and it went really well. It was so beautiful. My last baptism on my mission and Sister Wilson's first!! Very special. We had to rush to get all the lessons done in time but managed to cover it all and have good daily contact with her. It was a blessing indeed. 

Another miracle!! We met with the S family on Tuesday and followed the Spirit in what to teach. We taught about family history, and challenged L to read certain scriptures about baptism and pray specifically about a date to be baptised on. She looked wary but agreed. It was good we got her on her own because usually her husband talks a LOT and so she could actually talk and we could learn what her concern might be. It helped out a lot. Then we saw them Thursday and Friday, in which we taught about recognising the Holy Ghost. Which was inspired because she started our meeting out by saying "I feel like I don't feel the Holy Ghost, or if I do, I don't recognise it." And we were so happy we'd prepared the lesson we had! It went really well and we rechallenged them to keep praying and reading those scriptures. In the meantime we prayed SO specifically that she would recognise the Spirit and that she would just wake up and feel good about it all etc etc. The Ward ladies fasted for her last week too. Anyway Sunday afternoon they invited us over for dinner. They also invited the Halladays, their fellowshippers, over and the WML's family and the Bishop's family. But the WML and the Bishop couldn't come. Then before they dished up they said "We have an announcement to make. We wanted to just say that we love you all, and no matter what we're all friends.....but....we've decided not to get baptised." And I felt sick and Sis Halladay gasped and it was silent for about 3 seconds. Then J laughed and said "....On July 30th" which is what they previously agreed to with the Bishop. We all exhaled, then he continued "Or March 21st....." and the silence continued until he said "But L has been praying. Can you tell them what you decided?" and I was like COME ON ALREADY and she said "I've been praying and I am ready and feel like we need to be baptised on April 25th!" which is a Saturday and she didn't even know that which is perfect! Very inspired. We all hugged and cheered and cried and clapped! There was a huge line to hug them haha. It is a HUGE DEAL!!!! They have been taught since August and never accepted a baptismal date. And now they will finally do it and have come up with the date themselves through inspiration from the Holy Ghost. I felt so heartbroken that I will be across the world when they get baptized. It's this deep hurt right inside my heart. I was so happy for them but after we left last night I cried the whole way home and for about an hour when we were at home because I love G and I love the S's SOOOOO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN WRITE IT DOWN and to think that I won't be there for the biggest steps of their lives and I wont be there to help them prepare for it. I just kept thinking "I wish I had just six more weeks....just six more weeks". When I woke up this morning my eyes were all sore and crusty from crying and I remembered the S family the night before and felt so happy again! It's such a miracle. I just feel like I'm going to leave a HUGE part of my heart here. 

Another miracle happened last Monday evening. We ventured out into the snow that didn't stop coming for four days, and taught this less active woman. She had answered the door the week before and I felt this instant love for her. Anyway we taught her and she said "I just want you to know that you came at the perfect time. If you'd have come a week earlier I would've said no thanks. But I don't believe in coincidences, and a week before you came, all these events kept happening that made me think I needed to try LDS again." and the miracle is that we came by a week before but walked past the house and both felt like we shouldn't knock there and give it a few more days. It was SO interesting to hear that there was a reason for that. I feel a strong connection with her and am glad that she opened up to us and told us that! She said she feels something is missing and wonders if maybe it's reading the Book of Mormon. I LOVE BEING A MISSIONARY. 

We had MISSION CONFERENCE this week! The first time I've ever been there for one. The last one was July 2013 with Elder Bednar. This time we had a special Mission Conference because we got trained on how to use our IPADS. Except I don't get one BECAUSE APPARENTLY I'M LEAVING. So I had to sit through six hours of iPad chat. I just made goals for when I'm home. It was intense though because we had two visiting General Authorities from the First Quorum of the 70 visiting. But it was the best day ever and I was so excited to see all my friends. I feel like they are my family now. I feel heartbroken to be leaving them all too. THE AMOUNT OF COMMENTS I GOT ABOUT GOING HOME WAS RIDICULOUS. Everyone was like "Oh hey Sister Nicholls you're nearly done" and "Oh hey you go home next week" and "Hey are you trunked out of your mind yet?" haha. But it was sooooo nice to see EVERYONE I love and say goodbye. 

And here's something weird that happened. We went to a wedding reception haha. Sis Halladay's son got married. They have been dating for EVER and they sent videos to each other their whole mission and made a long video out of all those videos. They invited us along because they were showing their mission video at their reception and then wanted to introduce us to everyone there and explain about eternal marriage and have us there in case anyone wanted to learn more. So we got permission and went along. Let me tell you - TRUNKINESS NEVER WAS HAPPINESS. That's all I have to say about that. Don't expect a missionary who is finishing in one week to go to a wedding reception and not have one trunky thought #foreveralone haha but it was really weird to be a missionary at a wedding reception. It was really beautiful though. 

Funny story of the day. We got stuck in the mud at Bishop Shumway's house. We tried to get out but our wheels were just spinning and mud spurted EVERYWHERE. I asked Sister Wilson to back me to see if I could reverse out and she stood REALLY far back so that mud didn't go all over her! It was to no avail and finally they had to get someone to come and tow us out haha!!!! Also we started teaching a Philippino man which is cool! 

The miracles I have seen this week will stay with me forever. We now have 9 people on date for baptism. I feel so filled with gratitude and love that I never want to leave. Like Ammon, this is how I feel this week: 

 16 Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

We have goaled for 20 member present lessons this week and 4 new investigagtors to keep me focussed. 

Shout out to Sam Shelley who got MARRIED FOR ETERNITY ON SATURDAY! I thought about you ALL DAY and am so proud of you. You are incredible. Your husband is a lucky man. You were the main feature of my talk on Sunday. I'll update you when I see you soon! 

ALSO shout out to the best Mum in the world. I won't talk to you on Mother's Day on Sunday but you'll get the best present ever two days later ;) ME haha. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and wish that I could be half as loving and giving and selfless as you are. I am so blessed. 

Please keep me in your prayers this week. I will try not to cry ;) I love you all SOOOOO MUCH 

Sister Nicholls

"O That I Were an Angel, and Could Have the Wish of Mine Heart” - 2-3-15

Dear Loved Ones, 

I can't believe that these emails won't be coming forever. It's still the most exciting time of the week logging on and being updated with all my beloved family and friends. As always it’s been a week of ups and downs, incomprehensible joy, and tears of heartbreak. I think that's what makes your mission so beautiful, is how you lose yourself in it and how you give every last tear and every last ounce of energy and every last thought and breath to the people you love. A missionary's happiest day is the day they forget themselves and love the people more than they love themselves, and I can truly say that I love the people of Southern Utah as I love my own family, and it fills my heart with heaviness when I think that I won't be here much longer. 

This week we went back to the lonesome old man who lost his wife a year before. We took a woman with us so we could go in. We taught the Restoration and the Spirit was so strong. It truly solidified my own spiritual testimony that Joseph Smith was indeed called to be a Prophet of God. No matter what anyone else tells me about him, I know for myself from God that He was called to be a Prophet. Anyway the Spirit was strong and he said that it could indeed be true and that it makes sense. We gave him some things to read and went back to visit him on Saturday to teach the plan of salvation. He said that he would be at church the next day; the first time he would've been to church in like 30 years. He read what we gave him and enjoyed it. I really love him already. He is a cute old man and our discussions with him are great. It was wonderful teaching him that he will see his wife and child again. His son died in a hurricane, the one before hurricane Katrina. He lived in Louisiana his whole life until just barely moving here. We were very disappointed when he didn't come to Church though. Last night was hard for me because a lot of them stood us up or didn't come to church. There were some silent tears shed. It always hurts when people don't do the things that will bring them the answers they are thirsty for. There's only so much we can answer for them until they need to do the things that will allow God to answer for them. 

We had a wonderful miracle with E. She is the one that has never believed in God or prayed before. She was raised in New York and her Dad was Jewish while her mother was Catholic and so she was raised with no beliefs. Now she married a member a year ago and is wanting to learn. So we taught her the restoration and before the lesson we prayed about a baptism date for her. We both felt strongly that we needed to pick April 11th. So we followed the Spirit and in the lesson presented that date to her. As we told her she gasped and said that that was the day her father died years before. She also expressed that he has been baptised in the Temple and so “is a Mormon up there in heaven". It was perfect because she doesn’t yet know if God exists, but took that as a huge sign that He does and that her Dad wants her to be baptized on that day. It was such a cool experience. I really love her. 

We have taught the S family a few times this week!! They are getting soooo close to being baptized! Week after week we have tried to teach the underlying doctrines of baptism, like agency and commandments and temple work and eternal salvation etc. Anyway finally, they invited us over for dinner and during dinner J said "I realized that God isn't going to tell me what to do all the time and that I just need to go ahead and do what I think is right - that’s why he gave me agency" and we were like YESSSSSSSS and I said to them “How do you feel about getting baptized when my parents are here on March 21st" and he looked sooooo happy and looked at his wife and said that they will give it some serious talking about and thought and prayer. But it was so great! He even prayed at church!! His wife just has some last minute hold backs which she wanted to talk to the Bishop about and she did and apparently it went well. They have the best fellowshippers ever and we aren't worried about them! Just keep them in your prayers. They come to church every single week and read every day and pray all the time. They just need to do it :))) 

Remember the family who lost a child who said they wanna get baptized? They stood us up like three times since then and we haven’t been able to get hold of them. Every week they say they'll come to church but then don't. Then set appointments for us then stand us up. Anyway we had another appointment booked and they stood us up so we went over to this other family's house and they were HOME and invited us in!!! We had a great chat and they expressed how they want to be baptized and showed us everything they've read in the Book of Mormon, and they made another appointment with us. Which they then stood up. I just don’t know what to make of them, if they are sincere or not. Either they are sincere but flakey or just people pleasers. 

We found another family like that who invited us in right away, they are from Vegas just moving in here now, like four houses down from ours. They've made about 3 appointments with us but stood us up every time. Finally we just stopped by there and they let us in and we talked and she said she wants to be baptized! They invited us back for later that day and said they'd give us dinner and then we can help them move their stuff in. We went back and the wife was mysteriously sick and we couldn’t go in. It was really strange. So we don’t know what to make of them either. They said they would be at church but also didn't come. It's weird how many people tell us they want to be baptized but don’t make any kind of effort to get there. We just keep doing our best and waiting til they are ready :) 

We walked for about half an hour in the snow to lovingly invite someone to church and then half an hour back and we found out that the woman told her neighbour she did NOT appreciate us just showing up without an appointment. We felt horrible and just wished she could've seen our intentions, that we walked so far through the snow uphill in the road for half an hour just to give her that invitation. I wish we could all just see each others motivations and feel the love behind them. Sometimes it feels like we can't do anything right, the member who told us said that they don’t want her to be pushed away and we thought "How is that pushing someone away??? If we don’t invite them to church what are we supposed to do?" so I shed some tears over that. But honestly it helps me to understand on a tiny portion what Heavenly Father must feel, how He tries so hard to give us what we need to return back to Him but we still don't take it, or we misinterpret it. He pushes us so that we grow and learn, but we sometimes take it the wrong way. My service as a missionary has helped me learn more about my Saviour than anything else. 

Over all it has been a wonderful week of learning and growing and feeling the Spirit. We were invited to attend the Bishop's meeting with the Stake President last night. It was all the Bishoprics in the Stake and the Stake Presidency, they did an hour’s training on missionary work. At the end they invited me to bear my testimony because I will be leaving them in two weeks and thanked me for my service in their Stake. Anyway I was crying before I even stood up to bear my testimony. I managed to speak through the tears and take lots of deep breaths. At the end one of the Bishops said “You managed to make a whole room full of men cry" hahaha. It was a spiritual moment. 

Well it's that time again. I love you all SO MUCH and will see you soon. 

Sister Nicholls